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    <title>SnarkyBlog</title>
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    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008-02-25:/blog//1</id>
    <updated>2010-09-08T03:30:00Z</updated>
    <subtitle>Random thoughts from a random mind...</subtitle>
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<entry>
    <title>Dragon Quest 9 Utilities</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2010/09/dragon-quest-9-utilities.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2010:/blog//1.113</id>

    <published>2010-09-08T03:22:55Z</published>
    <updated>2010-09-08T03:30:00Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[My apologies to all of you out there who might have been using my D&amp;D Item list, I've just fallen way behind and haven't had time to get it back up to date.&nbsp; In the meantime, though, I've gotten sucked...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
    </author>
    
        <category term="Games" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
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        <![CDATA[My apologies to all of you out there who might have been using my D&amp;D Item list, I've just fallen way behind and haven't had time to get it back up to date.&nbsp; <br /><br />In the meantime, though, I've gotten sucked into the world of Dragon Quest IX on my DS Lite, and one thing that bugged the crap out of me was having all this stuff in my inventory, but no really quick and easy way to know what I could make with it, or what else I might need to make something really cool.<br /><br />So, I built the utilities that I'm hosting on my <a href="http://www.holyelvis.com/dq9/">HolyElvis site</a> that allow you to do just that - either see what you can make with your inventory, or search for the recipe for a specific item.<br /><br />It let me exercise some newfound jquery muscles, and uses a lot of in-page callbacks rather than postbacks, and I'm pretty happy with the final product.&nbsp; The usage is really simple - just start typing something that exists in the game in one of the fields, and the AutoComplete will search the database for that item.&nbsp; From the drop-down list, click the item you want and it will either be added to your virtual inventory, or it will be search for a known recipe.<br /><br />I would give great credit to the database of items, but I honestly can't recall where I pulled the data from exactly, so my apologies to whomever created it.&nbsp; My google-fu fails me, since I can't find the exact page from which the data was originally pulled.&nbsp; There was a good amount of SQL magic used in transforming it into lookup data, though.<br /><br />Feel free to take a look at it, and let me know if you like it...or hate it.<br /> ]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>Update: D&amp;D 4E Magic Item List (v1.03)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2010/02/update-dd-4e-magic-item-list-v.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2010:/blog//1.112</id>

    <published>2010-02-03T00:11:16Z</published>
    <updated>2010-02-03T00:14:16Z</updated>

    <summary>Sorry for the delay - I noticed people were searching for this again, and that I hadn&apos;t updated it in awhile, so I spent some time adding content from the remainder of the Dungeon and Dragon magazines that have been...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
    </author>
    
        <category term="Games" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/">
        <![CDATA[Sorry for the delay - I noticed people were searching for this again, and that I hadn't updated it in awhile, so I spent some time adding content from the remainder of the Dungeon and Dragon magazines that have been published in the meantime.&nbsp; The next update will focus on sourcebooks, but I'm not certain when that will be posted, as there's a lot of content to go through for that.<br /><br />The Item List is <a href="http://www.holyelvis.com/dnd/4E_Magic_Items_By_Level.xls">here</a>...right-click and "Save Target".<br /> ]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>Music Review: Chris Isaak - Mr. Lucky (2009)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2009/02/music-review-chris-isaak-mr-lu.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2009:/blog//1.111</id>

    <published>2009-02-27T22:26:50Z</published>
    <updated>2009-02-27T22:33:43Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[Mr. Lucky is Chris Isaak's first general studio album since Always Got Tonight was released in 2002 (excluding his Christmas album from 2004).&nbsp; I've been a big fan of his for a long time, and waiting 7 years for another...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
    </author>
    
    
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        <![CDATA[<p><em>Mr. Lucky </em>is Chris Isaak's first general studio album since <em>Always Got Tonight </em>was released in 2002 (excluding his Christmas album from 2004).&nbsp; I've been a big fan of his for a long time, and waiting 7 years for another album (and presumably, a newly-updated tour) was excruciting.&nbsp; Overall it's a great album, and covers a lot of the different styles of music that Chris Isaak has been known for across his career.&nbsp; However, it does have a minor drawback -- it's very obviously compiled from seven years of off-and-on studio work.&nbsp; Unlike <em>Always Got Tonight</em>, <em>Speak of the Devil</em>, or even <em>Forever Blue</em>, the styles on <em>Mr. Lucky </em>are a bit more scattered across all of these sounds.&nbsp; It's definitley not a bad thing, but it's very much less consistent in style than his previous albums.&nbsp; There's really no way to review this as an entire album - the sounds and styles of so many songs here are very different from the others.&nbsp; Instead, I thought I'd take them on one song at a time:</p>
<p><strong>Cheater's Town</strong><br />I think this is perhaps once of his best songs yet - it's definitely right up there on my list with Wicked Game and Somebody's Crying, and shares a style with both of these.&nbsp; This song would definitely fit right in on <em>Forever Blue </em>or maybe even <em>Always Got Tonight</em>.&nbsp; It starts nice and slow, and builds to a crescendo that leverages all of Isaak's unique vocal and instrumental abilities.&nbsp; Plus, it has a catchy-as-hell chorus, as most of his best songs do.</p>
<p><strong>We Let Her Down</strong><br />The first single released from the album, it's a fairly strong outing - definitely has an <em>Always Got Tonight </em>vibe to it.&nbsp; Not quite the blockbuster that Cheater's Town definitely is, but it's good for a radio single.&nbsp; Very simple in arrangement, light on the backup vocals, but overall a very listenable tune.</p>
<p><strong>You Don't Cry Like I Do</strong><br />This one sounds like it could have come off of <em>Speak of the Devil</em>, which honestly isn't my favorite of his albums.&nbsp; It's a mellow, plaintive song about lost love (yes, I'm sure you're as shocked as I am!).&nbsp; Not the strongest of the songs on the album - it has a very acoustic sound to it, however, that's always good for a listen.</p>
<p><strong>We've Got Tomorrow</strong><br />Three downbeat songs usually signal a switch in tone on a Chris Isaak album, and this one is no different.&nbsp; We've Got Tomorrow has an almost bluegrass tune to it, and is very catchy - it sticks in your head for awhile after it's over.&nbsp; The horns in the middle of the song almost lend a little dixieland feel to the song, which makes it a nice change in pace.&nbsp; This is perhaps the one song here that doesn't clearly "feel" like it comes from another album.</p>
<p><strong>Breaking Apart (Duet w/ Trisha Yearwood)</strong><br />I was hesitant on this one - I love the original song, and am not a huge fan of Trisha Yearwood.&nbsp; It actually took a couple turns through my iPod for me to fully appreciate this version, and after some reflection, I think it's a pretty strong outing.&nbsp; The interplay of the two singers, when taken as a "conversation" really makes the song even more heart-rending than the original.&nbsp; At least with the original, it's just one side of the story, torn apart by being tossed aside.&nbsp; Here, with a female voice echoing the feelings back, it makes you wonder whether there's any good that comes out of this relationship.&nbsp; It's the opposite of "star-crossed" lovers - and that makes it even more of a tragedy than it was in the original.</p>
<p><strong>Baby Baby<br /></strong>I think this song is perhaps my least favorite on the album.&nbsp; It's not that it's "bad", but it's just missing something for me.&nbsp; It's a perfectly serviceable song, and flows well.&nbsp; It has decent lyrics, able orchestration, and a nice beat.&nbsp; But it's missing the "oomph" that I like in most of Isaak's music.</p>
<p><strong>Mr. Lonely Man</strong><br />Echoes of "American Boy" was my first thought when I heard this one, and it's stuck with me ever since.&nbsp; It's a great almost-rockabilly song that has an up-tempo beat and instrumentation that contrasts with the downbeat lyrics and self-deprecation...two things that combine as my favorite aspects of his music.&nbsp; If Cheater's Town is my favorite song from this album, Mr. Lonely Man comes in a very close second.&nbsp; This is one song I'm really looking forward to seeing him perform in person someday soon.</p>
<p><strong>I Lose My Heart (w/ Michelle Branch)<br /></strong>When I first saw this song on the back of the CD, I thought it was another duet.&nbsp; That's definitely not the case - Michelle Branch is relegated here to a simple back-up singer, which I think is somewhat a waste of her talents.&nbsp; She sounds great, but having someone like her on this album would have been better used as a second duet, letting her use her talents to their fullest potential.&nbsp; That said, this is a good song overall, but every time I listen to it I find myself wondering if it could have been better as a duet (or just a solo tune, without an additional name attached).&nbsp; Almost makes you wonder if this wasn't something the studio insisted on?</p>
<p><strong>Summer Holiday</strong><br />Summer Holiday has&nbsp; a nice, light, almost acoustic sound to it.&nbsp; The song is a reminiscence of a time long ago, and reminds me of the many times I've wondered about past loves, what they're doing now, and if they ever think about the times that come to my mind.&nbsp; It's a great, light tune that manages that perfect balance of upbeat and melancholy that is his forte.</p>
<p><strong>Best I Ever Had<br /></strong>I don't know why, but something about this song brought to mind John Mellencamp or Bruce Springsteen.&nbsp; It's nothing I can really nail down, but the song is all about the reminiscence of times gone by, of days spent long ago with your one true love.&nbsp;&nbsp; It's all about looking back, and very little about accepting change, which is I suppose a common theme to much of his music, but the high-energy orchestration brings to mind other artists who have explored the same territory, often with less effective results (compare and contrast this song to Bryan Adams' Summer of '69, for example).</p>
<p><strong>We Lost Our Way</strong><br />VERY much a song with a <em>Speak of the Devil </em>feel, using some of the same instrumental cues (the deep reverb...haunting, almost off-key guitar) that were prevalent on that album.&nbsp; I can't say it's my favorite song on the album, but at the same time it's not bad, either.&nbsp; I think on an album that was more consistent in sound and/or style, this might have been more of a stand-out success.&nbsp; Here, though, while it's a good listen, it doesn't really stick with me or strike me as particularly memorable.</p>
<p><strong>Very Pretty Girl<br /></strong>The sound of this one harkens back to early Chris Issak (Silvertone or San Francisco Days, perhaps).&nbsp; Particularly the intro, which sounds like it could have easily been lifted from either of those albums - heavy on drums, light haunting guitar chords in the background.&nbsp; I like this song as a taste of that sound in and of itself, but as a part of the album as a whole, it's a little distracting, since it has such a unique sound/style when compared to the other songs here.&nbsp; As a single, this would be a great addition to his repertoire, and this is another song I can almost picture seeing live.</p>
<p><strong>Take My Heart</strong><br />This song could all but be a lost track from <em>Baja Sessions </em>- it's got a ukelele feel to it - light, airy, and very island-influenced.&nbsp; What I wouldn't give to have another CD that's nothing but bongos, ukeleles, steel drums, and Chris Isaak reworking some of his classic songs.&nbsp; Baja Sessions, Part II - where are you?&nbsp; If only this were the sound of the whole album, this might be a runaway hit...as it is, it's distractingly different from the other songs here, and that detracts from it in a broader view.&nbsp; Individually, this is just a GREAT song.</p>
<p><strong>Big Wide Wonderful World</strong><br />I never really thought of Chris Isaak as a "lounge singer", but this song really makes you wonder.&nbsp; It's got the slow beat and big horns that I usually equate more with that style than with the majority of his other work.&nbsp; In fact, it reminds me a little bit of the difference in sound between Brian Setzer as part of the Stray Cats and part of his big-band orchestra.&nbsp; This song really makes me wonder what Chris' music might sound like with a full complement of strings, horns, and winds.&nbsp; THAT would be a concert worth traveling cross-country to see!</p>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>Updated: D&amp;D 4E Magic Item List (1.02)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/11/updated-dd-4e-magic-item-list-1.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.110</id>

    <published>2008-11-25T06:33:04Z</published>
    <updated>2008-11-25T06:36:17Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[Just finished an update to the Magic Item List, now at v1.02.Added items from:- Dragon Magazine 368 &amp; 369- Dungeon Magazine 159 &amp; 160- Draconomicon (Prismatic Dragons)The Item List is here...right-click and "Save Target"....]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/">
        <![CDATA[<div class="asset-content entry-content"><div class="asset-body"><p>Just finished an update to the Magic Item List, now at v1.02.</p><p>Added items from:<br />- Dragon Magazine 368 &amp; 369<br />- Dungeon Magazine 159 &amp; 160<br />- Draconomicon (Prismatic Dragons)<br /></p><p>The Item List is <a href="http://www.holyelvis.com/dnd/4E_Magic_Items_By_Level.xls">here</a>...right-click and "Save Target".</p>
        </div>



    </div> ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Updated: D&amp;D 4E Magic Item List</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/10/updated-dd-4e-magic-item-list.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.109</id>

    <published>2008-10-08T22:07:10Z</published>
    <updated>2008-10-08T22:08:53Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[Just a quick note that I've updated the Item List/Index that I put together awhile back.&nbsp; Am now considering creating another index for Powers/Rituals as well. The Item List is here...right-click and "Save Target"....]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Just a quick note that I've updated the Item List/Index that I put together awhile back.&nbsp; Am now considering creating another index for Powers/Rituals as well.</p>
<p>The Item List is <a href="http://www.holyelvis.com/dnd/4E_Magic_Items_By_Level.xls">here</a>...right-click and "Save Target".</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>D&amp;D 4E Magic Item List</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/10/dd-4e-magic-item-list.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.108</id>

    <published>2008-10-01T22:59:30Z</published>
    <updated>2008-10-01T23:06:38Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[So, my group of friends is still playing D&amp;D 4E, and we're getting into the swing of things - last session I had to double the challenge to keep them from walking through a dungeon without so much as a...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/">
        <![CDATA[<p>So, my group of friends is still playing <a href="http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/welcome">D&amp;D 4E</a>, and we're getting into the swing of things - last session I had to double the challenge to keep them from walking through a dungeon without so much as a scratch.&nbsp; They're finally thinking tactically and not pretending to be playing their 3E characters anymore.</p>
<p>With the release of the <a href="http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=products/dndacc/217837200">Adventurer's Vault</a> supplement, I wanted to have a quick reference for magic items by level and type.&nbsp; So I put together an Excel file that lists all of the items in both the <a href="http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=products/dndacc/217367200">PHB</a> and Adventurer's Vault supplement, with level and type information, and a reference to the specific page of the book their details are listed on.&nbsp; Not sure if anyone else would find it handy, but I decided to link it to this entry, just in case.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.holyelvis.com/dnd/4E_Magic_Items_By_Level.xls">Download the Excel file here...</a></p>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>What I&apos;m Playing: Warhammer Online (First Impressions)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/09/what-im-playing-warhammer-onli.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.107</id>

    <published>2008-09-22T15:40:17Z</published>
    <updated>2008-09-22T16:27:53Z</updated>

    <summary>At one point in the recent past, I made the decision that I simply wasn&apos;t going to start in on any more MMORPGs - I just don&apos;t really have the spare time to invest in such an endeavor, and am...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
    </author>
    
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        <![CDATA[<p>At one point in the recent past, I made the decision that I simply wasn't going to start in on any more <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MMORPG">MMORPG</a>s - I just don't really have the spare time to invest in such an endeavor, and am usually only able to play for a few hours each night, plus a little more time on the weekends.</p>
<p>But, of course,&nbsp;I'm a sucker for beta testing these games - given the usually more-rapid advancement process, not to mention the fun of getting to see something before the general public.&nbsp; And I bought into Warhammer Online after sitting through their half-hour presentation at <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penny_Arcade_Expo">PAX</a> this year.&nbsp; Also, I happened to find the pre-order package (with a free entry into the Open Beta, plus a head-start on the actual launch) at <a href="http://www.target.com">Target</a>&nbsp;for 99 cents one day.&nbsp; Since the pre-order also comes with a $5 coupon, it seemed like a pretty good deal - get into Open Beta, play the game for a week, and if I liked it, I could save $5 by spending $1.&nbsp; Net savings = $4!</p>
<p>So...yes, I bought into the Open Beta, and had some fun wandering around, mostly with a High Elf Shadow Warrior.&nbsp; Unfortunately, some other things came up during the week of Open Beta, so I was really only able to log in about 10 hours or so of actual play time.&nbsp; And while I wasn't horribly impressed by the game overall, I figured it was worth $50 to play for a month or so, then decide whether I wanted to continue.</p>
<p>Plus, I had the head-start, which meant that I got to create ongoing characters three days before the actual launch date.&nbsp; Since the Open Beta characters were all wiped, I restarted with an Empire Witch Hunter on the Wasteland server, and have been playing <a href="http://realmwar.warhammeronline.com/realmwar/CharacterInfo.war?id=4581&amp;server=162">him</a> pretty much since then.&nbsp; I did also create a Chaos Chosen character on Bretonnia, but I haven't had much time to wander around with <a href="http://realmwar.warhammeronline.com/realmwar/CharacterInfo.war?id=34383&amp;server=237">him</a>.</p>
<p>But enough about me - you probably want to know what I think about the game as a whole.&nbsp; It's always difficult to get a bead on an MMORPG immediately at launch, but the one thing I'm impressed with overall is the manner in which the folks at <a href="http://www.mythicentertainment.com">Mythic</a> are handling the game in general.&nbsp; They haven't been afraid to make major changes in the design and scope of the game (dropping four classes and several capital cities from the game because they "weren't exceptional").&nbsp; In fact, in the past few days, they've actually pulled off a first in the support for an MMORPG - they "cloned" several servers so that people could re-balance the load at their own leisure.&nbsp; I haven't heard anything about the results here yet (Mythic doesn't have an official forum for the game, another thing I applaud them for), but in concept it's an exceptionally brilliant plan.</p>
<p>As for the game itself, it really is a lot of fun, and is relatively quick and easy to get into.&nbsp; The quests are fun, they draw you all around the map, and you get to see some pretty amazing sights.&nbsp; The "Realm versus Realm" (RvR) concept is at full swing here, and if you don't like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Player_versus_player">PvP</a> playing, then I'm afraid you really won't get to enjoy all that <a href="http://www.warhammeronline.com">Warhammer Online</a> has to offer - even many solo quests send you into RvR areas of the game, essentially forcing you into interacting with other players.&nbsp; Of course, there are drawbacks to that concept, as I ran into several "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Griefer">griefers</a>" who were hanging out around the entrance to some of these RvR areas, waiting to pick off individuals who were trying to pull off the solo quests.&nbsp; I found, though, that this just made these quests a bit more of a challenge, and sneaking around them was actually kind of fun.</p>
<p>The "Public Quest" concept is a fun one as well - in each area there are roughly 10 of these scripted events to uncover, and they're in some ways similar to short "instanced" dungeons that you find in other MMOs.&nbsp; However, you don't really need to have a formal group in the area, and the requirements are straightforward and laid out at the top of your screen.&nbsp; The PQs that I've done have had multiple stages (typically 3 stages), where the first is usually collect X items or kill X creatures, followed by a second stage where you have to fight off X Champions (harder than your typical level X creature), and finally taking down a Hero of some form (I've fought a Giant, a Hydra,&nbsp;and a Warlock in a couple of the early PQs).&nbsp; It gives the almost-casual player a feeling that they're contributing to an overall story, and you are given a bonus to the overall loot "roll" based on your contribution - the more damage you do, the more items you find, etc. all affect the likelihood of you getting "loot".</p>
<p>The only real drawback for me is the fact that I'm trying to play it on a computer that's almost three years old.&nbsp; Needless to say, this isn't really an option for a modern game, and the game that I play has almost ZERO resemblance to that shown at PAX.&nbsp; But, it's still a lot of fun, and if you're looking for a good combination of the same-old "what works" from the MMO world, with some additional zip and nifty features (such as your bag expanding every 10 levels!), I would definitely recommend that you pick up Warhammer Online and give it a chance.</p>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>Mulberry Street  (2006)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/08/mulberry-street-2006.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.106</id>

    <published>2008-08-21T16:50:20Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-21T16:53:08Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[D: Jim MickleS: Nick Damici, Antone Pagan, Tim House, Larry Fleischman, Bo Corre, Ron Brict, John Hoyt, Kim Blair &nbsp; If a movie about were-rats infesting New York City sounds like something you'd be interested in watching, then this is...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
    </author>
    
        <category term="Movies" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    <category term="horrorfest" label="Horrorfest" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    
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        <![CDATA[<div>D: Jim Mickle<br />S: Nick Damici, Antone Pagan, Tim House, Larry Fleischman, Bo Corre, Ron Brict, John Hoyt, Kim Blair</div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>If a movie about were-rats infesting New York City sounds like something you'd be interested in watching, then this is definitely the movie for you.&nbsp; Assuming, of course, that plot, characters, and cinematography aren't all that important to you.</div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>Yes, the idea of an infestation of were-rats starting riots in the streets of New York definitely has promise.&nbsp; And there's clearly an attempt to put an over-arching storyline in place&nbsp;- an Iraq War vet comes home on the night that all hell breaks loose, and attempts to make her way home to her neighborhood to see her father again.&nbsp; And to be fair, the movie starts off on a pretty good note...the characters are decently established, relationships are explained, and the neighborhood in general is laid out for the future insanity.</div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>Then the infections begin, and the movie moves from a slow-paced character study into the realm of bad lighting and music-video cuts.&nbsp; Now, don't get me wrong - I'm very much in the camp of the less you show in a horror movie, the scarier it is (check out <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261983/">Session 9</a></em> for this - very little is shown throughout the whole movie and it's the creepiest film I've seen in a long time).&nbsp; But, I also think that if you're <em>going </em>to show something, you need to show it, and not hide it with horrible lighting and bad camera tricks.&nbsp; Which, unfortunately, is what shows up here.</div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>It's not the worst movie ever, and definitely not the worst of the Horrorfest outings for 2007.&nbsp; But it just takes too much time to build up to a delivery that's really not as good a payoff as you'd want it to be.&nbsp; Really, it's just a poor knock-off of <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289043/">28 Days Later</a></em> or <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0463854/">28 Weeks Later</a></em>, replacing zombies with rat-people.&nbsp; It's fun, I suppose, but very slow to build and pretty difficult to track once things start falling apart.</div>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>Review: Session 9 (2001)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/08/review-session-9-2001.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.105</id>

    <published>2008-08-19T15:00:00Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-18T20:25:15Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[D: Brad AndersonS: David Caruso, Stephen Gevedon, Paul Guilfoyle, Josh Lucas, Peter Mullan, Brendan Sexton, III Session 9 is one of the most ambiguous horror movies I think I've ever seen.&nbsp; And I mean that in a good way -...]]></summary>
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        <name>Snarky</name>
        
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        <![CDATA[<p>D: Brad Anderson<br />S: David Caruso, Stephen Gevedon, Paul Guilfoyle, Josh Lucas, Peter Mullan, Brendan Sexton, III</p>
<p><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261983/"><em>Session 9</em></a> is one of the most ambiguous horror movies I think I've ever seen.&nbsp; And I mean that in a good way - the ambiguity isn't present in what happens, but why, and it's between two equally frightening possibilities...the spiritual posession of a normal, working-class guy by a murderous demon; or the slow descent into madness of a normal, working-class guy.</p>
<p>The film works on many levels - the writing is great, the characters and acting are spot-on, and the setting...you couldn't ask for a better location for this type of film than the former <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danvers_State_Hospital">Danvers State Hospital</a> in Virginia.&nbsp; Just the setting alone is creepy enough, and it's this feeling of dread, despair, and disrepair - not only in the building, but in the men working on it - that drives the plot of this movie.</p>
<p>Gordon (Peter Mullan) is an Irish immigrant who has found his lot in life as the owner of an Asbestos removal service.&nbsp; Unfortunately, times are rough, and he's forced to commit to cleaning the Danvers State Hospital in a week's time, just in order to secure the money that he needs to support his wife and their new baby.&nbsp; His partner in the company, Phil (David Caruso) watches closely as he sees Gordon making stretch after stretch to keep his life in order.</p>
<p>Rounding out the cleanup crew are: Hank (Josh Lucas), a man who seems to enjoy two things in life - gambling and making others' lives miserable; Mike (Stephen Gevedon), a law school graduate and scion of a legal eagle who feels as though he's "slumming it" in such a manual, menial job; and finally Jeff (Brendan Sexton, III), Gordon's nephew who's new to the whole experience, and just happy to have a job.</p>
<p>The relationships seem straightforward between these men at first, but you find out that Hank has stolen Phil's girlfriend (though when we see him at home, he's paying more attention to the television than her), Mike is considering that it may be time to hang up the protective suits and return to more intellectual pursuits, and Phil is coping with what he thinks may be his last job&nbsp;- not because he wants it to be, but because it's clear to him that the business is failing.</p>
<p>All of this human drama is underscored by the slowly-unveiling story of Mary Hobbes, a former inmate of the asylum.&nbsp; Mike discovers her records while wandering through the administration offices, and opens up the box (clearly marked EVIDENCE) to discover audio tapes of the interviews (unsurprisingly, nine tracks&nbsp;marked "SESSION 1" through "SESSION 9").&nbsp; </p>
<p>As Mike delves into the mystery of Mary Hobbes, the other men are seen to succomb to their own demons.&nbsp; Hank discovers a cache of silver coins, jewelry, and other items that fall out of a stone wall attached to the crematorium.&nbsp; Phil copes with what he feels is increasingly erratic behavior on the part of Gordon (while at the same time smoking pot whenever he has the opportunity).&nbsp; And Gordon finds the strength to admit to Phil that he slapped his wife the night that their contract for the Danvers Hospital was approved.</p>
<p>With a movie like this, it's hard to discuss the details of the plot, because to do so really spoils a lot of very good storyline, excellent characterizations, and ultimately the entire point of the film itself.&nbsp; This film delivers on its very slow burn, and constantly has you wondering just how it will all end.&nbsp; Regardless of how you view the events - did Mike unleash some form of demonic evil by opening Mary Hobbes' files...or was the entire audiotape more of a coincidental metaphor for events that were already being unleashed without any supernatural intervention?</p>
<p>This truly is a thinking-man's horror movie, and while opinions vary (and are strongly held on either side of the coin), it's absolutely a movie worth spending some time to experience.</p>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>Review: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/08/review-silent-night-deadly-nig.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.104</id>

    <published>2008-08-18T15:00:00Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-18T19:56:28Z</updated>

    <summary>D: Charles E. Sellier, Jr. S: Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick, Roni Nero, Robert Brian Wilson, Britt Leach First and foremost, I admit that I went into this movie with perhaps the lowest expectations that I&apos;ve had for any of the...</summary>
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        <name>Snarky</name>
        
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        <![CDATA[<p>D: Charles E. Sellier, Jr.</p>
<p>S: Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick, Roni Nero, Robert Brian Wilson, Britt Leach</p>
<p>First and foremost, I admit that I went into this movie with perhaps the lowest expectations that I've had for any of the classic horror films that I've been finally catching up on.&nbsp; I expected so very, very little from a movie that's all about a guy dressed as Santa going on a killing spree on Christmas Eve.<br /><br />And this movie quite simply blew me away.&nbsp; I would add this to my must-see list of horror movies for anyone who wants to enjoy the classic feel of an 80s slasher film.&nbsp; Granted, the acting in general isn't exactly the best, but for the time and budget, what can you really expect?&nbsp; The real genius in this film is, quite simply, the main character.&nbsp; You know who the killer is from the very beginning - there are no pretensions, there are no Red Herrings.&nbsp; You watch as the poor little boy gets to be subjected to perhaps the most horrible vision he can see - his parents are viciously murdered by a guy in a Santa suit.&nbsp; "Where ARE you, you little bastard!?" he screams into the bushes as poor little Billy hides.<br /><br />Fast forward a few years, and Billy and his brother are now in the care of a stereotypical Catholic orphanage, complete with a caring Sister of the order and an overbearing, mean-as-nails Mother Superior.&nbsp; Billy behaves himself well enough, but every year around Christmas, he suddenly gets worse...drawing horrible pictures of Santa and refusing to sit on Santa's lap (even punching a visiting "Santa" at the orphanage).&nbsp; For each of these acts, Billy is punished for being naughty.&nbsp; When he catches two teenagers in the orphanage in an act that's frowned on by the Bible (undoubtedly, they weren't attempting to procreate), he finds out that is naughty too...and worthy of punishment.<br /><br />All of this is in place merely to set Billy up for the inevitable...and really the setup is economical, taking only 20 minutes or so.&nbsp; Then you see Billy as an 18-year old, strapping, hunk of a boy, who the caring, compassionate Sister sets up with a job at a toy store.&nbsp; Yes, let's ignore the inevitable question of whether it's smart to do so, knowing what happens at EVERY toy store around Christmas...but if not for this small lapse of judgment, the movie would be very boring indeed.<br /><br />Let me tangentialize for just a moment here - in addition to the story and the gore and the nudity, another little fun part of this (for me, at least) was seeing all the old toys in the store - you have the Jabba the Hutt playset in one scene, Mousetrap in another, even a giant Castle Greyskull playset in another.&nbsp; Seeing all these great 80s toys in their original packaging made an aging toy geek like me giddy with excitement.<br /><br />So...as you can probably guess, Christmas rolls around.&nbsp; Billy's making eyes at a female co-worker, and getting under the skin of his supervisor, a gaudy Lothario-wanna-be.&nbsp; The boss, however, seems to like him, and when the regular Santa is injured, who does he turn to to take his place?&nbsp; Why, Billy-boy, of course...who uses his knowledge of Santa as a punisher of the naughty to tame the wildest of children who cry and scream on his lap.<br /><br />Of course, scaring little kids into complacency isn't what a slasher film is all about...so we have to have something trigger little ol' Billy-boy into a homicidal rage...and what better than some alcohol?&nbsp; Yep, that's right - after all the little buggers have left the store, Mr. Simms breaks out the booze and everyone starts to celebrate.&nbsp; Everyone in the store has way too much to drink, and Billy watches his Lothario and female interest sneak back into the back of the store.&nbsp; Needless to say, he catches Lothario being "naughty" and this is the trigger that causes Billy to begin hunting down and punishing those who are on the Naughty List.<br /><br />I don't want to spoil everything for you - suffice it to say that the movie is a great watch from beginning to end.&nbsp; There's no suspense about who's doing the killing, but who and how are always up for grabs.&nbsp; Hearing Billy grumble "NAUGHTY!!" and "PUNISH!!" in a voice that's not quite his own is just awesome (though I will admit that without context it sounds horribly cheesy!), and seeing everyone else put the pieces together is a pretty good use of dramatic irony.<br /><br />Overall, this movie is HIGHLY recommended for anyone who is looking for the thrill that only a good 80s slasher flick can bring!<br /></p>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>Review: Prom Night (1980)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/08/review-prom-night-1980.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.103</id>

    <published>2008-08-18T01:40:19Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-18T01:52:24Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[D: Paul LynchS: Leslie Nielsen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Tough, Casey StevensWow...just let me say that for a moment.&nbsp; Wow.&nbsp; I've always heard Prom Night mentioned as one of the defining films in the 80s slasher history, and I have...]]></summary>
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        <name>Snarky</name>
        
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        <![CDATA[D: Paul Lynch<br />S: Leslie Nielsen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Tough, Casey Stevens<br /><br />Wow...just let me say that for a moment.&nbsp; Wow.&nbsp; I've always heard <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081383/">Prom Night</a></i> mentioned as one of the defining films in the 80s slasher history, and I have to say...it SO does not live up to that reputation.&nbsp; Not even close.&nbsp; And that's not to say that it doesn't try...but it fails to deliver on almost everything you expect from an 80s horror movie, except boobs.&nbsp; And there aren't even all that many bare breasts to be seen in this one, even.&nbsp; <br /><br />Perhaps it's just that it's such an early film in the genre, but that can't quite be it - it was not only predated by <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077651/">Halloween</a></i> by two years, but it was released the same year as <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080761/"><i>Friday the 13th</i></a>, so that's no excuse.&nbsp; I think it just can't quite be what it really wants to be...it's never really very scary, it's barely gory even for the time, and the entire storyline is telegraphed so far ahead of time that it's really not even very interesting.<br /><br />A really good horror movie like this requires that the Red Herrings actually be possible...but that's just not the case here.&nbsp; The movie starts out with phone calls being made to the future victims...but the "escaped mental patient" has just gotten away and was holed up in an abandoned convent...and the "questionable groundskeeper" is hard at work on the grounds of the school.&nbsp; It doesn't leave many options...and in case you haven't seen it yet, and still want to subject yourself to it after reading this, I won't spoil it.&nbsp; But it's hardly a surprise.<br /><br />The writing is bad, the acting horrible, and the dancing...well, let's just say that it reminds you in a way that <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076666/"><i>Saturday Night Fever</i></a> never will exactly why Disco died.&nbsp; I seriously expected there to be a dance-off halfway through this movie, which might have actually been more enjoyable overall than watching what was on display.<br /><br />The bottom line here is that there are many, MANY better 80s slasher/horror films to spend your time watching, and if it weren't for the remake that's sitting in my queue right now, I probably wouldn't have wasted mine watching this...if only I could get that hour and a half of my life back...<br />]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>D&amp;D 4th E - Level Up Impressions</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/07/dd-4th-e-level-up-impressions.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.102</id>

    <published>2008-07-28T19:24:41Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-28T19:42:05Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[Have plowed through almost half of Keep on the Shadowfell in our group, and we went through the level-up process before this past week's session.&nbsp; A few new thoughts about the new rules, which honestly none of us are really...]]></summary>
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        <![CDATA[<p>Have plowed through almost half of Keep on the Shadowfell in our group, and we went through the level-up process before this past week's session.&nbsp; A few new thoughts about the new rules, which honestly none of us are really all that fond of at this point:</p>
<ul>
<li>The deterministic nature of a lot of the system just bugs the hell out of us.&nbsp; Gone are Reflex, Will, and Fortitude saving throws...gone are rolled Perception and Insight checks (at least in "passive" situations)...no more rolling for hit points on level-up...it's all based on specific scores.&nbsp; I'll be honest, I liked the random factors that were in previous editions.&nbsp; A lot of those are gone now.</li>
<li>In another move toward "roll-play" and away from "role-play", skills are no longer an effective method of customizing your character...each class gets 4 skills that they're "trained" in (giving them a +5 to their checks), and all other skills grow at +1 every two levels.&nbsp; So, while some PCs can be better at skills than others, the benefit doesn't seem that great, and PCs focus less on skills.</li>
<li>Attacks of Opportunity are <em>horribly</em> overpowered in this edition.&nbsp; I think they pretty much were in prior editions as well.&nbsp; We're house-ruling the entire thing, so that you only draw an AoO when a creature <em>leaves</em> your threatened space, rather than entering it.&nbsp; We'll try that out next session and see how it goes.</li>
<li>Wizards actually appears to have "bent" the rules with their pre-made characters for the Keep adventure - when translating them over to actual character sheets, using the rules in the PHB, there were several things that were completely dropped, ignored, or augmented for no apparent reason (such as the ability of Half-Elves to take any at-will power for any other class and use it as a Daily power).</li></ul>
<p>It's still fun, and we're still trying to see what we like and what we don't...definitely do NOT like using a map and counters/miniatures.&nbsp; Seems too much like a board game and not like a "true" role-playing game.&nbsp; I'm also wondering how much of it is due to using the pre-made adventure, which is more of a dungeon crawl than my gaming group is usually used to.&nbsp; Whether we can effectively build a "real" campaign within these rules is still up for debate right now.&nbsp; There seem to be a lot of limitations imposed by the rules themselves...so there&nbsp; may be some chnages needed as we move along.</p>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>D&amp;D 4E - First Playthrough Impressions</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/07/dd-4e-first-playthrough-impres.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.101</id>

    <published>2008-07-03T17:46:03Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-03T21:08:43Z</updated>

    <summary>I was lucky enough to pick up a free copy (actually, THREE copies) of the Keep on the Shadowfell adventure while attending a conference last week, so our first play session used the pre-created characters provided in the adventure, and...</summary>
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        <name>Snarky</name>
        
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        <![CDATA[I was lucky enough to pick up a free copy (actually, THREE copies) of the <a href="http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=products/dndacc/217187400">Keep on the Shadowfell</a> adventure while attending a conference last week, so our first play session used the <a href="http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/4dnd/20080616a">pre-created characters</a> provided in the adventure, and we went through the first encounter session last night.&nbsp; We had three players, so we were slightly undermanned (the encounter is really designed for five players), but managed to make it through relatively unscathed.&nbsp; We had the Dragonborn Paladin, the Halfling Rogue, and the Dwarf Fighter in the party, and the first battle was an interesting one to say the least.<br /><br />A few impressions before we started playing, between first cracking open the books and starting the adventure:<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>The entire ruleset has been revised to support miniatures natively, almost exclusively.&nbsp; There are no more references to feet or other distances - everything is termed in "squares".&nbsp; While conceptually there's little different, it really does seem like more of a tabletop game (a la <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warhammer_40,000">Warhammer 40k</a>) in concept than a true fantasy RPG.<br /></li>
<li>It's obvious that they've leveraged a lot of experience from CCGs into the D&amp;D 4E rules.&nbsp; Even weapons are considered "at-will" powers, and it's just another thing that detracts conceptually from the "true" RPG experience that many people might be expecting.</li></ul>As we started playing through, a few additional things became somewhat clear:<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>The game is VERY combat-oriented now.&nbsp; The focus is very strongly on offensive capabilities for most classes, and the ability to heal yourself during combat without using items or potions makes it very much a "munchkin" game.&nbsp; Granted, these are the first adventures published, and as such it's not surprising that they're action-oriented.&nbsp; Perhaps as additional rulebooks are published and more adventures become available (and at higher levels), we'll be able to see more variety.<br /></li>
<li>I'm wondering about some of the at-will abilities.&nbsp; Specifically, some of the Fighter and Paladin at-will abilities pose the question of why anyone would <i>ever</i> use a standard attack.&nbsp; For example: <i>Reaping Strike</i>, a Fighter at-will ability, gives the standard attack bonus and the standard damage if hit, but on a miss still does damage equal to the character's STR bonus.&nbsp; There's <b>no</b> reason to ever <b>not</b> use this power...and you'll always do at least 3 points of damage.&nbsp; Seriously?&nbsp; Guaranteed damage every round??&nbsp; That just doesn't seem right at all.&nbsp; At least the Paladin abilities mostly require the targets be "marked"...but still, seems a little overpowered for 1st level.<br /></li>
<li>The adventure itself, or at least the initial encounter, was pretty well-balanced for our smaller-than designed group.&nbsp; I think if we'd had a fourth or fifth player, that might not have been the case.&nbsp; There was danger, there was damage on both sides, and overall it was an exciting experience.&nbsp; There was a little getting used to some of the new rules, new abilities, and such, but that's to be expected.&nbsp; Overall, it was pretty fun, a few minor nit-picks, but nothing that ruined the experience for us.</li></ul>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>D&amp;D 4th Edition - Initial Impressions</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/06/dd-4th-edition-initial-impress.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.100</id>

    <published>2008-06-18T17:15:40Z</published>
    <updated>2008-06-18T17:33:06Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[I finally got my hands on my set of Core Rulebooks for the new 4th Edition of Dungeons and Dragons...and while I hope to put together a more in-depth review, unfortunately I don't have any actively gaming friends right now.&nbsp;...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
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        <![CDATA[<p>I finally got my hands on my set of Core Rulebooks for the new 4th Edition of Dungeons and Dragons...and while I hope to put together a more in-depth review, unfortunately I don't have any actively gaming friends right now.&nbsp; The old group wandered off, and don't seem too interested in joining another game, though perhaps the new rules might entice them to at least try it out.&nbsp; Maybe once I get some table-time under me, I'll be able to post a more in-depth review.</p>
<p>The first thing that strikes me is, quite simply, the vast number of changes in game mechanics and rules.&nbsp; This is nothing like the switch from 2nd Edition to 3rd Edition.&nbsp; This is like picking up an entirely new game entirely.&nbsp; While there were definitely some major changes between 2E and 3E (most notably the noble death of THAC0), the core feel of the game was pretty consistent...wizards memorized spells, clerics were healers, etc.&nbsp; Many of these core concepts are completely wiped away and re-imagined in the new 4E world.&nbsp; I can't yet say whether these changes are "good" or "bad" - but they're definitely interesting.</p>
<p>A few of the more notable changes:</p>
<ul>
<li>No more multi-classing.&nbsp; One class, multiple development paths - there are now "phases" to a character's development, similar to Prestige Classes in 3E, but every character chooses a "Paragon Path" upon reaching L10, and then an Elite path upon reaching L20.&nbsp; I have no doubt that there are going to be some minor revolts and house rules built around this - I kind of liked the idea of mult-classed characters...but the Paragon paths give a little bit of flexibility in the definitions of the classes, so perhaps they will fit that role as characters advance.<br /></li>
<li>Feats and Spells have been somewhat replaced by "Powers" - each character class has a set of "Daily Powers" or "Encounter Powers" that they can use once per day, or once per encounter (respectively).&nbsp; This includes what were previously automatic effects (such as Cleave or Great Cleave) as well as spells (Burning Hands, Bigby's Grasping Hand, etc).&nbsp; Characters gain new powers as they move forward, and are given the ability to "replace" powers at each level, which makes character development a little bit less stringent, and allows players more ability to build the character they want, rather than be tied to previous choices.<br /></li>
<li>"Checks" have replaced almost every dice roll that had previously been defined by any number of rules.&nbsp; The rules for "Checks" apply across the board - to attack, save, and skill rolls equally.&nbsp; The rules behind Checks are pretty simple:&nbsp;roll 1d20, add 1/2 your character's level (rounded down), then add any bonuses or subtract any penalties.&nbsp; Compare that roll to the opposing roll, DC, or AC, and you've got your result.&nbsp; I have to say, I'm intrigued by this particular dynamic - it's nice that as characters advance, all of their abilities increase accordingly.<br /></li>
<li>Overall Feel - They've replaced the Forgotten Realms as the core "world" for the books, and instead describe things much more generically, allowing for a lot more flexibility in a DM's implementation of the rules.&nbsp; And, having not ever really been a real in-depth fan of FR, I have to say for the most part I like it.&nbsp; However, it also leaves a lot of room for questions from DMs new to the system.&nbsp; I'm not yet sure which way this one cuts.</li></ul>
<p>Overall, I think it's a really interesting revision to the system - and I think it's about time that D&amp;D cut ties with some of the less-fun and more time-intensive rules.&nbsp; They've made some huge strides toward streamlining the experience...but as the system becomes more basic, it also seems to lean more toward a video-game type approach, rather than a table-top RPG approach.&nbsp; It definitely reintroduces the game to a new audience - and if nothing else, that's definitely a good thing!</p>
<p>Hopefully I'll get some table-time sometime soon, and we'll see how things turn out.</p>]]>
        
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<entry>
    <title>Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://snarky.holyelvis.com/blog/archives/2008/05/review-indiana-jones-and-the-k.html" />
    <id>tag:snarky.holyelvis.com,2008:/blog//1.99</id>

    <published>2008-05-27T16:35:34Z</published>
    <updated>2008-05-27T16:47:21Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[D: Steven Spielberg S:&nbsp;Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Shia LaBeouf, Ray Winstone, John Hurt &nbsp; To borrow a tagline from another long-in-the-making sequel coming to&nbsp;a theater near you soon:&nbsp; I wanted to believe.&nbsp; I wanted to believe that this...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Snarky</name>
        
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        <![CDATA[<div>D: <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000229/">Steven Spielberg</a></div>
<div>S:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000148/">Harrison Ford</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000949/">Cate Blanchett</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000261/">Karen Allen</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0479471/">Shia LaBeouf</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0935653/">Ray Winstone</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000457/">John Hurt</a></div>
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<div>To borrow a tagline from another <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443701/">long-in-the-making sequel</a> coming to&nbsp;a theater near you soon:&nbsp; I wanted to believe.&nbsp; I wanted to believe that this would turn out to be the ending of the Indy saga that we all looked forward to.&nbsp; I wanted to believe that they would be able to recapture the spirit and feel of the original.&nbsp; I wanted to believe that this wouldn't be a repeat of the mis-steps that Lucas took with the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076759/"><em>Star Wars</em></a> prequels.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div>
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<div>I <em>really </em>wanted to believe.</div>
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<div>But, in the end, I was disappointed.&nbsp; It's true, perhaps my expectations were too high.&nbsp; Perhaps one should realize that after 19&nbsp;years, the magic was gone.&nbsp; It's not impossible to catch that lightning in a bottle again, but instead we get fireflies.</div>
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<div>That's not to say the movie&nbsp;is bad.&nbsp; It's definitely a fun way to spend two hours, and it has all the trappings of an Indiana Jones film.&nbsp; To say that it's not as&nbsp;good as <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082971/"><em>Raiders of the&nbsp;Lost&nbsp;Ark</em> </a>or&nbsp;<em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097576/">The Last Crusade</a></em> is like saying that a painting isn't as good as the&nbsp;<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mona_Lisa">Mona Lisa</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;And it's definitely not nearly as bad as <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087469/">Temple of Doom</a></em>, though&nbsp;it suffers from many of the same problems that <em>Temple</em> did.</div>
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<div>First, there's very little archaeology involved in <em>Kingdom</em>.&nbsp; There's a little bit of grave-diving (a la <em>Crusade</em>), but none of the feeling of wonder or excitement that you get as you watch Indy put the pieces of the puzzle together (the series of desert scenes in <em>Raiders</em> is better than the entire movie of <em>Kingdom</em>).&nbsp; The whole point of Indiana Jones is that he's an archaeologist first, an adventurer second.&nbsp; When Mutt stammers out "You're a teacher!?", it's no wonder he doesn't believe it - aside from a couple meager scenes, we don't see Indy the archaeologist hardly at all.</div>
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<div>The supernatural takes way too big a part in <em>Kingdom</em>, as it did in <em>Temple</em>.&nbsp; If you pay attention to the first movie, the supernatural nature of the Ark is hinted at, glimpsed only in part until the very end.&nbsp; <em>Kingdom</em> instead starts off with a demonstration of the supernatural, and continues to break it out (where convenient, mind you) throughout the film.</div>
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<div>And lastly, there are just scenes that utterly destroy any suspension of disbelief that you've managed to come up with.&nbsp; That, I think, is the ultimate disappointment with this movie - what made <em>Raiders</em> and <em>Last Crusade</em> so enjoyable is that they were, for the most part, pretty realistic.&nbsp; Very little happens in either <em>Raiders</em> or&nbsp;<em>Last Crusade</em> that's at least not plausible (perhaps with the exception of the endings of each, but that's to be expected).&nbsp; There's a lot, on the other hand, in both <em>Temple&nbsp;</em>and <em>Kingdom</em> that stretches the boundaries of reason until they break.&nbsp; It's hard to&nbsp;mention these scenes without spoiling some parts of the film, but suffice to say the scenes with the refrigerator, the monkeys,&nbsp;and the rocket sled - while&nbsp;entertaining&nbsp;- had no place in a "true" Indiana Jones film.&nbsp; </div>
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<div>Some of this must have to do with Lucas' thoughts about trying to make <em>Kingdom</em> more of a "B-movie" than an homage to the Republic serials that he grew up with.&nbsp; And, quite frankly, that makes it not an Indy movie from the get-go.&nbsp; Indy <em>is</em> a serial hero, finding himself in cliffhanger after cliffhanger and always squeaking out by a nose.&nbsp; He's not a B-movie scientist or researcher or football-player-cum-hero.&nbsp; That's just not who Indy is, and by taking him out of his element and trying to force him into a genre that he's not meant for...well, can you imagine trying to take <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luke_Skywalker">Luke Skywalker</a> and put him in a family sit-com?&nbsp; The Skywalkers!&nbsp; Not really - it's just a basic misunderstanding of what made the Indiana Jones movies so successful.</div>
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<div>Again, the movie isn't "bad" - it's just disappointingly not true to the original.&nbsp; Harrison Ford does a great job hopping right back into the old fedora.&nbsp; He's convincing as an aging, yet still completely capable, Indiana Jones.&nbsp; Bringing Karen Allen back provides a great deal of closure to one of the outstanding questions in the series, and the repartee between Marian and Indy is just as good in this film as it was in the first.&nbsp; Shia LaBeouf is...well, passable as Mutt the brash, young, mouthy sidekick (a good turn better than Short Round, at least).&nbsp; But you definitely feel the loss of the late <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001186/">Denholm Elliott</a>, though Marcus makes an appearance even posthumously that is true to the character.&nbsp; Also missing is Sallah, and there's not even so much of a mention (particularly odd, considering how much he seemed enamoured with Marian during <em>Raiders</em>) - could they really not convince/afford <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0722636/">John Rys-Davies</a>?</div>
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<div>As for the other supporting characters, Cate Blanchett is decent, though not nearly menacing enough, as the Russian scientist seeking the Crystal Skulls.&nbsp; Ray Winstone is okay, but his character seems alternately a replacement for Sallah or just another annoying sidekick.&nbsp; John Hurt has very little to do as Oxley, but what he does is performed with his usual attention to character detail.</div>
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<div>Overall, it's not a bad movie, and it's perhaps one of the better adventure movies that's been released in recent years.&nbsp; What's unfortunate is that it winds up trodding on some of the same ground that we've already seen in last year's <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0465234/">National Treasure 2</a></em>, which I'm sorry to say did a much better job of providing a pay-off in the lost city of gold.</div>
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<div>There's talk of another sequel...with rumors of Shia LaBoeuf taking over the reigns and Harrison Ford taking a role more akin to <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000125/">Sean Connery</a>'s in <em>Last Crusade</em>.&nbsp; And given the numbers that it posted ($300m+ worldwide), it's probably inevitable that Lucas and Spielberg will once again break out the whip and fedora.&nbsp; And I wish them luck with that - I'll have more fun re-watching <em>Raiders </em>and <em>Last Crusade</em> than seeing anything they're likely to come up with.&nbsp; Of course, perhaps there's a corollary to the "odd-numbered Trek's suck" rule - perhaps "even numbered Indy's suck" just as badly.&nbsp; Either way, I'll see whatever they come up with, but it will be with severely lowered expectations the next time around.&nbsp; While I want to believe, I just can't anymore - Lucas has finally broken me.</div>]]>
        
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